Wanker Television

My post really does not have anything to do with wankers but I really like the word so I thought I would use it on the title of my post to describe stupid tv.

Today is a lazy Sunday for us. We are doing all the glamorous things you do on a Sunday; laundry, dyeing my mom's hair (really tricky for me as I am white and do not want to get any "chestnut brown" on me), groceries and yoga (where do you think "down dog" comes from?). We then have a dinner engagement with Uncle Saad and Uncle Michael later this evening and I am excited as I am wondering what is on the menu for me. I recommended anything with a bone, let's see if they listened to me.

Mom and I had a very spiritual, zen weekend. We just relaxed, watched movies and meditated (well my mom meditated - I napped). We watched some wanker television so I decided to write about the top most wankerist shows on tv right now as I know all my readers are too intelligent to waste any of their lives on such garbage (yeah right!).

Momma's Boy: My mom and I decided a long time ago we would not watch reality shows. However sometimes you cannot help but get sucked into them. So now we are okay with watching reality shows, but we are picky about the ones we watch. "Momma's Boy" is a show we didn't think we would watch but we got sucked in right away. Three young men in their mid-twenties (too young to find your true love in my opinion) are brought in to look for their true love, 40 young girls all living together in a mansion. The catch here is that their mother's are brought in to help them choose their gal's. Of course there are a few catches; seems besides some pretty, sweet, nice, educated girls (there is a med student in the mix), there are more girls who posed for "Playboy" and "Penthouse" or worked at "Hooters". While I am on the guy's side and tend to go for the bleach blonde, fake boob type, my mom has surprised me on how judgemental she is. She can't seem to see their inner beauty, their hopes and dreams. All she sees is their outside veneer. She was shocked when she found out that most of them were in six figure debt do to "enhancements" and they are only twenty-five. Well mom, we can't all be natural beauties like you! She might as well be one of the moms. Come to think of it, she is probably old enough to be their mom. I'm gonna stop writing on this show right now or else I see a pink bottom in my future.

The Real Housewives: When I first heard about this show, I thought "Who would be loser enough to watch this show?" Well apparently my mom and I are losers as we have fallen head over Prada heels for this show. Even Anderson Cooper is a big fan. It is like watching a train wreck about to happen. It's not one of those shows you can watch over and over again as the first time is really enough but it just amazes me and my mom every time. This show is symphomatic as to why our country is in the state it is in. These are the people with money in our country? These are the people in charge in the USA? This is how they act? It is fascinating how each of the Housewives show (O.C., New York, Atlanta) the main characters all think because they have money that they know everything. The show should really be called "The Nouveau Riche Housewives of ..." No one is educated. They don't know anything about the expensive wines they drink, they can't pronounce the food's they eat (they couldn't even appreciate the fresh ground guacamole from Rosa Mexicana). Trash with money. This is why our economical situation is so dire in the US. No one really knows what they are doing in the top positions. It's just like "Dilbert" wrote in his book, only the guys with the good hair get promoted.

ANY BRIDAL SHOW!!! Well my mom is addicted to bridal shows. ANY BRIDAL SHOW WILL DO! She'll even watch "My Big Fat Redneck Wedding" (yeah I bet you didn't even know there was such a show). She will watch; "Whose Wedding is this Anyway", "Platinum Wedding", "Bride Central", "My Fair Wedding", "Rich Bride Poor Bride", etc. Not "Bridezilla" as that is the "Real Housewives" of bridal shows. There really should be a wedding channel with nothing but bridal shows but alas there isn't. Over the holidays my Uncle Adrian tried to point out to her that she may have a problem, she may be addicted to wedding shows. However she immediately shot him down by pointing out that he seemed to have his own tv addiction by watching only the "Military Channel", he even watched the military news. She pointed out that between their two addictions, hers was less morose as wedding shows show people at their happiest and he is addicted to watching people getting blown up. Well, that shut him up. Anyway my mom has watched enough bridal shows to qualify for a PhD. Her friends know to come to her for wedding ideas. Maybe one day she will use all her knowledge for herself? I know there is a small tux in the closet for me waiting for such a moment so I think I can wait for that moment and continue sabotaging her dates.

I hate to admit it but I have lots of wanker tv left to write about but as I am a small Maltese dog I tend to get tire if I over type so I am going to let you go on with your Sunday. If you have any wanker tv picks of your own let me know so I can check it out, um I mean research it for the PPP.

Time for me to lay on the fresh, clean, warm laundry and take a nap. Chow for now!