It's that time of the week! The PPP will update you on meaningless celebrity gossip you either are too busy or too ashamed to search for yourself. Um, warning, this post is not for the kiddies.
First item: I love blind items (gossip missing the names of the perps)! Every once in awhile a gossip column or blog gets some good gossip but decide to make it a blind item. Today I came across a blind item from the 1940's.
A major movie studio needed an escort to accompany their biggest teen queen to an elaborate banquet. The banquet, which included such distinguished guests as President Roosevelt, was to celebrate the closing of the wildly successful New York World’s Fair in 1940. The studio tapped the young, handsome son of a wealthy and politically-connected businessman. After the banquet, he took our smitten star - who had just gotten over a breakup with a notorious ladies man - to his suite at the Waldorf-Astoria. They had a nightcap and spent the next several nights together. Soon after, he gave the starlet a diamond engagement ring and asked her to marry him. The young man enlisted not too long after, and although the two never married, they kept up a steady correspondence as “good friends”. In later years, he would go on to become even more famous than the girl.
After some Googling I came up with the answer. It was Judy Garland and JFK! She was the teen queen at the time and had just been dumped by Artie Shaw. JFK was the handsome son of a wealthy and politically-connected business man. He enlisted in the Army in 1941 and it is a well know fact that they were friends throughout their lives. So it's not just the present day Disney teen queens that were naughty! Even "pure" Judy Garland teen queen had some dark secrets quite early on. It is also rumored that even before her affair with JFK she had an abortion from Tyrone Power! See pic above of Judy hanging with JFK in the oval office above along with my make believe great-grandpa, Danny Kaye (long story).
This next piece of gossip makes my mommy want to puke! She thinks that Paris Hilton is planting fake gossip out there about herself because it is sooo unbelievable! So far in the past two months there have been two gossip stories of Paris Hilton hooking up with Gerard Butler and George Clooney. Both men in the past have shown incredibly bad taste in their choice of women but to even go within ten cities blocks of Paris Hilton requires lots of vaccinations and antibiotics. I told my mommy that I think this is false gossip as I don't want to hear her go on about this. Yuck!
Here is my favorite gossip of the week. Over the New Year's Eve holiday there were a number of celebrity DUI's and reckless driving arrests. Matt Dillion was clocked going 106 mph on the cold, icy roads of Vermont (he can face up to three months in jail). The interior designer from Trading Places, Doug Vernon got pulled over for a DUI, but the best was the arrest of baller Charles Barkley. Charles Barkley was pulled over by the police in Arizona and this was his excuse according to police reports: "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat. He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job. He then explained that she had given him a 'blow job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life." No wonder he is so sweaty in his mugshot (see pic above). He also was so drunk he offered the police the chance to tattoo his name on their bums. Then he corrected himself and said he would put their names on his bum if they dropped the charges. They didn't go for it. This is the same man that made overtures to run for governor of Alabama and has a wife and child. I'm thinking he was eating lots of bagels and drinking Coca Cola after that incident. I would say he is a dog but that would be insulting my species.
Not all celebrities are so irresponsible as you can see from the pic above of actor Verne Troyer getting a ride from a friend as he leaves a club looking a little worse for wear. Hey Verne, I know how you feel! I too am lucky enough to be of a miniature stature which allows me to get carried when I have been hitting the doggie dish too hard.
Yes, I know I did my job with that one piece of gossip from Barkley but I still have crazy items from Hollyweird. As you may know, Joaquin Phoenix has retired from films to concentrate on his "music" career. However he has lately been looking like a crazed Hillbilly moonshine lord from the 1880's (see pic above with a terrified P.Diddy). Um, drugs have fried his brain for sure! Give him an umbrella and it's like watching 2008 Britney Spears all over again (including the bad hair weave). Going crazy from drugs is bad enough when you do it alone much less when it is done in front of the whole world. Then it lands on this site and becomes your PPP gossip tidbit of the day.
Well I would love to write more but I just heard my mother filling the tub and spelling out the letters "B-A-T-H" so that means I have to sign out and hide under the bed. Ever since she organized the house there are no messy places to hide anymore! Chow for now!
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