The weekend is here and while you are getting ready to go out and about to socialize with your friends, we here at the PPP have your tidbits of gossip so you can contribute to small talk when meeting up with your friends as we know you are either too busy to too embarrassed to admit you read certain celebrity gossip sites. Fortunately we here at the PPP have no shame. On with the news!
First news, OMG! Former President of France Chirac was attacked by his dog Sumo a Maltese/Poodle mix. What! Did he lay down on the floor and slather himself in meat sauce? I can barely break skin so I can't see how this happened. If Sumo was half pit bull maybe I can visualize it but Sumo is half Poodle. His wife said that he was hospitalized and is expected to make a full recovery in the next few weeks. Um, I had assumed that unless Sumo managed to tear his heart out. My mouth span is 2 inches wide at most so I think that is not the case here. Mr. Chirac's wife said that Sumo had been depressed lately and had been on anti-depressants. We don't know the full extent of his injuries but it sounds like doggie menopause to me. Never approach a bitch having a hotflash, I learned that from living with my mom (which she will deny till death).
Other news is celebrity news from President Barack Obama's inauguration. During the swearing in ceremony, Mariah Carey was escorted to sit in the section with all the other celebrities. However she did not want to sit with the "little people" (Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Mary J. Blige) she wanted to sit next to the first family! When she realized this was not going to happen, she bailed! It never fails to astound me the super egos of celebrities and how they suffer from very bad cases of high self esteem.
If you weren't at the inauguration ceremony and watched it on television, here is something you might have missed; apparently there was some censorship done by the networks as when Former President Bush came out on the stands the whole mall started booing and singing, "na na na na goodbye!" And when the helicopter carrying Bush flew over the capitol every one jumped up and waved screaming expletives that we at the PPP are not allowed to print. Thanks Brian for the insider info!
In other celebrity news (or news about people associated with celebrities), Brittany Spear's former husband Kevin Federline (aka K-Fed) has gone from being a buff and almost handsome dude (not my opinion, I'm a male dog) to a fat tub of lard. It's like Freaky Friday and he and Brittany changed lives. She is now in fighting shape and he has gone to pot (forgive the pun). I included a picture of the before and after. Apparently he has eaten his way through his divorce settlement.
And for some hilarious celebrity news; Heather Mills, Mucca's former gold digger ex-wife has been spending a lot of time in New York lately. She has a new hairdo (you know the kind of haircut women get when they decide to divorce their husbands and start a new life) and has been bragging that the men of New York City can't get enough of her. She goes on to say; "I've got so many stunning girlfriends who can't get a boyfriend. But when I go out here, I get asked out all the time, and my girlfriends - who are better looking than me - say, 'How the hell does that happen?!' Maybe it's because I'm comfortable with myself." Um, honey, this is New York City. My mommy get propositioned just about everyday. Sometimes they seem nice, mostly they are not worthy of her (don't worry, I know how to make these men disappear). Lady, this is a town full of male gold diggers that just lost their fortunes in the last few months, I wouldn't be so ready to brag about the men of NYC asking you out. I wonder if this is going to be a case of karma and some man will take her to the cleaners, time will tell.
Well anyway I am off to go to Chelsea and check out some galleries with my mother. I hope you have a great weekend. Chow for now!
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