How Would You Like It If Someone Did This To You?

It's a good thing that the PPP is back in business as it is up to us to disclose the injustices done to dogs everywhere and that brings me to our story today.

Apparently around the world there are what you would call "creative grooming shows" that take poodles and turn them into other animals like camels, pandas, horses, even characters from movies like Jack Sparrow. In two hours perfectly normal poodles are made to look like animal drag queens. Then they are judged by a panel of twits who have nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon.

Expert dog snapper Ren, from Florida, USA, said: "When these dogs come into the arena for a show or a competition you have absolutely no idea what they are going to be turned into.

"The groomers do colour them before they arrive but basically all you see at first is an extremely fluffy poodle that has weird coloured patterns on it.

"The transformation they go through is simply spectacular. There's no other word for it. It's amazing what they can do in so little time."

He is the only professional photographer who is brought in to capture images of the winning poodles on behalf of the show organisers.

"Watching the owners turn these balls of hair into something so intricate and detailed really does baffle anyone watching.

The artistic owners - almost entirely women - colour their beloved dogs with powdered paint sprayed on using blow pens which is non permanent.

"The dogs seem to love the whole experience," said Ren. "One of the reasons I love my job is because I love animals so much. I much prefer working with them than people.

"By the time the dogs get to me after they have been through the tournament they are bounding around and very happy.

Umm, I beg to differ. Only someone into furries would say that, this man just outed himself as a man who dresses like stuffed animals to have sex.

Anyway, as my mom's boss would say, "Bad, bad karma to you!" Get a life and love your dog for what they are, dogs! Not camels!!

My mom may put a LaCoste polo shirt on me and there is that time I was made to wear a Jack Sparrow Halloween costume but it WAS Halloween and my polo shirt looks good in the Hamptons.

Well, Chow for now!